Keeping it Real: What am I doing?!?

“Keeping it Real” is a glimpse into my world and the dangerous place called my mind.  Because reading about logistics and facts related to travel and work and visas can sometimes be as dull as a kickball.  (Balls are spherical and have no edges.  Further, kickballs are squishy.  That makes them the dullest thing ever, right?  *tap, tap*  Is this thing on?)

I was sitting in the middle of a committee meeting at work when it hit me:

THIS

IS

CRAZY!

Why am I even thinking about doing this?  Life is good.  It’s safe.  It’s easy.  Well, most days…

My job is good.  Well, it’s not bad.  Well, I mean, there are times that I enjoy it.  And there are times I get bored out of my skull…  But doesn’t everyone hate their job?  My friend Andy once pointed out that jobs are a direct result of “The Fall” – that is, Adam and Eve were just hanging but then they screwed up and now we all have to work for a living.  But then again, I like my job more currently than I did a few months ago, and that’s good, right?  Plus I have job security and earn decent benefits.  Sheesh, people would love to have what I have – what am I complaining about?

Not to mention the great community I’ve built up!  Like my church!  Have I mentioned how much I love my church?  I may have to write a blog post just about that.  And they just ‘promoted’ me so I’m an official room leader for Sunday school!  That’s cool, right?  Yeah, I guess having ultimate responsibility for 70 kids is scary…  And also I’m a co-leader in our small group, which is continuing to thrive.  Last week we went tubing in gorgeous Boulder Creek!  But what if it doesn’t thrive?  I know from previous experience – earned or not – that I’ll feel responsible for its downfall.  But what if I can’t find a supportive community wherever I land?  It’s taken lots of hard work to get to where I am; can I really just walk away?

And, my goodness, the mountains!  I live in one of the most desireable and picturesque locations on the planet, I’m sure!  And drives to see even more gorgeous scenery are only a short distance away – including beautiful Longs Peak!  Are the places to rock climb in the Czech Republic?

I want to live, not just survive.  And I’d say I am doing more than surviving.. some days…  But there are the not-infrequent others where I feel like I’m just in a rut.  Doing the same thing day after day with little to no change.

My church recently did a series comparing life to railroad tracks.  I wrote down one thing our pastor said:  This train is our life and sometimes we don’t know what to do.  A lot of us just rev the engine and go faster.  If I can just make it through this or push through this then I think there’ll be something better right around the bend.  So what if you do make it up this hill or over this bump?  You’re still on the same track.

He also said:  If your future is going to be more of your past, are you okay with that? Um, maybe?  Which parts of my past?  Some have been awesome.  Some have been less than stellar.

I guess you need to choose a direction and go.  And unlike railroad tracks, you may not know where you’ll end up.  However, like railroad tracks, many journeys have been undertaken before by others.  Find them.  Get their advice.  Everyone loves to give advice, so shut up and listen.  Then do.  You can’t stand at an intersection forever or you’ll get run over.

Where would people be if they settled for good instead of pursuing great?  “Meh, this Europe place is okay; who cares what’s on the other side of that ocean?”  “Electricity?  Bah!  Candles work well enough.”  “Live movie streaming through your computer?  I guess it sounds nice, but Blockbuster’s right down the street.”  (Geez, there’s another question: could I survive  in a country without Netflix live streaming of movies?  And Doctor Who?  Hmm…)

This adventure could be a massive failure.  Everything could go against me.  But I steel myself yet again.  That’s a chance you take with anything worth doing.

Come on, me.  Are you just too scared to try?

Chicken…

Bawk, bawk, bu-gawk…

I’ve been collecting inspirational quotes and thoughts, and this seems like as good a place as any to throw some of them out there:

That the fine line between bravery and stupidity is endlessly debated; the difference really doesn’t matter.

She was an artist, and her life was her canvas.

What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?

Turn your cant’s into cans and dreams into plans.

Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, Chardonnay in one hand, chocolate in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming, “Woohoo, what a ride!”

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.  Live the life you’ve imagined.  -Thoreau

I go to seek a Great Perhaps.  -Francois Rabelais

Commitment is doing the thing you said you’d do long after the mood you said it in has left you.

Unless you try to do something beyond what you have already mastered, you will never grow.  -Ronald Osborn

If you settle for the possible, you’ve already short-changed yourself.

This is your life – are you who you want to be?

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2 Responses to Keeping it Real: What am I doing?!?

  1. Kristin says:

    This really reminds me of a recent post by Sean Ogle at Location 180: http://www.seanogle.com/headline/evolution-of-fear

    Very cool that in the coming year(s) you’ll be looking at this again with fresh perspective… As Sean put it, going from “my life isn’t that bad” to “my life is awesome!”

    Cheers to that! PS, didn’t realize you were in CO. I’m looking to move to Denver in the winter… So I may pick your brain about it sometime!

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