Remember how I said I struggle at conversation? Tonight I was asked a question at my Bible study: “What drives you?” Wow. GREAT question. I actually didn’t know how to answer, so said something with the proviso that I’d have to think about it more. And ten minutes later on the way home it hit me clear as day.
I’m a helper.
It’s how I’ve always thought of myself, but for some reason couldn’t formulate into a sentence in that conversation. In every ‘spiritual gifts’ quiz I’ve ever had to take, my number one ends up being service. I like discovering where people’s needs are and working to meet those needs. Whether it’s helping paint a house, sewing a patch for someone on their clothing, or sorting donations at the community center.
It’s why I love my job. I’ve always told my boss, “My goal is to help you be the best that you can be in your position.” Whether that’s scheduling meetings, gathering data, being a sounding board, or triaging all the requests and calls and paperwork that come into the office.
I thrive when I can serve.
I think that’s why I’ve been feeling restless and melancholy lately. I feel like my mindset and focus has gotten away from that for some reason. And all that really means is that I’ve drifted away from my passion! That flame needs to be rekindled. It’s there, but I haven’t thrown enough logs on the fire lately. I’ve been so lazy.
I totally realize that at the core this is a heart condition, and thus not something I can address alone. So tonight I’m praying that classic, old chorus:
Make me a servant
Humble and meek
Lord, let me lift up
Those who are weak
And may the prayer of my heart always be
Make me a servant today