Secretary Tales, issue #11

(One day I’m no longer going to be able to keep track of what issue I’m on.  That day is probably coming soon as for this issue I just ran out of fingers and had to start using toes to count…)

Conversations that happen around the office: 

K: “Only 1400 more until the drinking fountain counter hits 10,000!”

Me:  “Woohoo!  We’ll have to keep a close watch so we don’t miss it.”

#thingsthatpassasentertainment

* * * * *

J: “What with all the black today?”

Me: “Well, I had a grey skirt on but it’s long and since it’s going to flood tonight it would get soaked when I walk home.  So I just grabbed this one and ended up in all black.”

J: “You have a reason for everything, don’t you.”

Me: “Yeah. It’s a curse.”

* * * * *

E looks stressed.  Me: “Do you need some tea?  I have tea.”

E: “No, I think I need coffee.  Coffee is like a kick in the pants.”

Me: “Yeah, tea is more like a comforting hug.”

* * * * *

O goes into J’s office and the door shuts partway.  Curious, I go peek through the crack.

J: “We’re planking.  You coming?”

Me: “Let me get my towel.”

* * * * *

I walk into the IT office looking for S.  He’s not there, but I do a double-take at the conference table.  “Uh, is that an Atari?”

A: “Yes, but the TV is too smart to play with it.  It doesn’t have an RCA input.  Only HDMI.  So the graphics are even worse and only in black and white.”

Me: “Shame. That would be a fun way to spend lunch.”

A: “Yeah, Y came by the office and saw it and got really excited and asked if it had Frogger.  And then another time D came by and asked if we could play Pong.”

* * * * *

Me: “Here’s a copy of the jack map for your reference.  Unhelpfully, the jacks aren’t the letters labeled on the actual floor plan, but are over on the side under the reference columns.  Why?  I have no idea.”

G: “Because there’s always that one thing that makes you say, really, why?”

Me: “Bingo.”

* * * * *

J walks into my office: “Longmont has palm readers.”

Me: “What? Huh?”

J: “You just put your palm down.  Scan in.”

Me: “Oh, you mean like at the hospital?”

J: “Yeah, it’s pretty cool.”

Me: “What if the reason you’re at the hospital is that you lost your hand in a table saw accident?  Do you need to bring the hand with you?”

J: “Just use the other hand.”

Me: “What if you lost BOTH hands in the table saw accident?”

J: “I think they probably let you walk right past the check in booth at some point.”

Me: “Or what if you’ve never been to the hospital before so they don’t have a scan of your palm?  Do you have to go to a reader and get entered into the system before you can be seen?  (He starts to walk away.)  I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS!!!”

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